"I Found Jennifer Lawrence's Cell Phone In A Cab" Has to be false

Thought Catalog - I scroll through more pictures. I wasn’t looking for it, but there’s nothing racy. (I was looking for it.) There are a few more selfies taken from a bed. Another of her bowling with a pink bowling ball. Also, the meme picture of Jennifer Lawrence from the Oscars: “Climbs trees. Can’t climb stairs.”

I’m pretty sure this is Jennifer Lawrence’s phone. If it’s not, whoever’s phone it is should be arrested for stalking her.

First of all, I call 1 million percent bull shit on this guy’s story. He’s a loser, probably aspiring internet celebrity (like me). How do you best get internet hits? Write fictional story with the biggest actress on the planet right now! And we all love J-Law because she seems just like us right? I know what I’ll do! I’ll make the story about how she lost her phone in a NYC! Oh Katniss!

Anyway, SPOILER ALERT, the dude finds Lawrence’s phone and her friend says he can meet her since he isn't “a big monster weirdo”. Well maybe you weren’t before. But now that you made up your fantasy about how randomly met her on a Saturday night playing Wii games and eating cookie dough, congrats bro, you are the biggest monster weirdo. Do yourself a favor, and keep your weird celebrity fantasy encounters to yourself. Like the rest of us.

Prince 1999, is a sweet song though.